Les Horreurs de Fanfiction, Type 1: Yaoi
by Written Blood
Summary: The Horrors of Fanfiction. Title. Read it.


Type #1: Yaoi  
Category: GONE

It was another regular day in Perdido Beach. The FAYZ had ended, after one entire year. Sam went back to living with his mother, Drake and Brittney somehow had been separated, and Caine had gotten over his rampage to rule the world or something like that.

Diana, of course, had her baby Gaia, and did initially have some trouble with her parents, but it eventually turned out fine.

The internet connection and phone lines were up and running as usual again, and other than all the deaths that had happened in the FAYZ, everything was back to normal.

Caine sat at his desk, his eyes glued to a computer screen, browsing through a list of most-visited websites. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, MySpace—aha, just kidding—and FanFiction.

He had, of course, never heard of such a thing. Curious, Caine keyed in "FanFiction. Net" into the search bar.

_There's even fanfictions about the FAYZ? _he thought. _I should check this out._

Caine clicked on the GONE archive, and browsed through every single story he could find. There were many excellent stories, save for a few with Mary-Sues and horrendous English and whatnot.

AND THEN, BEHOLD: THE M-RATED FANFICTIONS.

Since Caine was pretty much clueless on what "Rated M" meant, he rolled the cursor over the link, and clicked on a story.

And immediately wished he hadn't.

"OH MY GOD, MY EYES, THEY BURN!" he shrieked, covering his eyes.

"Caine!" His foster mother shouted from downstairs. "What's going on?"

Caine's hand was still on the mouse, his hand trembling. What the heck had he just seen?

"Uh, n-nothing, mom. I just dropped something," he called.

Caine got off his chair and grabbed his cell phone. Speed dial 4, Drake Merwin, outnumbered by his foster mother's number, his foster father's, and Diana Ladris's.

_Pick up, pick up!_ Caine thought impatiently. Usually Drake received the call pretty fast, but not today.

Eventually, Caine heard someone speak on the other end of the line. "Hello?" It was Drake.

"OH GOD. DRAKE YOU HAVE TO SEE SOMETHING IT'S TERRIBLE OH MY GOD." Caine didn't even bother pausing after each word; just said everything in a single breath.

There was silence for a few seconds. "Caine, you do know that the counsellor's number is speed dial 7, not dial 4, right?"

"YES I KNOW THAT ALREADY."

Drake groaned. "Stop speaking in caps."

"DRAKE, DUDE, THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS I DON'T CARE IF I'M SPEAKING IN CAPS, JUST LISTEN HERE."

Silence, again. "As I was saying before being so rudely interrupted, the counsellor's number is speed dial—"

"ON THE INTERNET NOW, MAN!" Caine shrieked.

Cue sighs from Drake. "Fine," he muttered, sounding terribly annoyed, not to mention ready to kill Caine.

After receiving some very loud instructions from Caine, Drake finally got onto FanFiction.

"Now go to the M-rated section, choose 'Caine S.' and 'Drake M.' for the characters, and click the eighth story that comes up."

Drake did so, quite hesitantly, actually.

"Man, are you sure I—" Drake suddenly went completely silent. He read through the story, trying his best to ignore the spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors, not to mention the fact that the entire story was in one paragraph, one huge chunk of crap.

"Drake? Did you—"

That's when Drake began screaming. "OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, MAN? YAOI? ISN'T THAT LIKE BOY-ON-BOY EVEN THOUGH BOTH OF US ARE HETEROSEXUAL—"

_Look who's talking in caps now,_ Caine thought, slightly irritated.

"—THEY WROTE IT ABOUT THE BOTH OF US—AHEM—DOING YOU-KNOW-WHAT?"

Cue awkward silence. "Yeah."

Drake hung up.

* * *

**If you notice, go on the GONE archive, and do what Caine told Drake to do in the fan fiction. There are only two search results that come up, and that's why I chose 'eighth', because I didn't want to offend or bash anyone specifically.**

**Actually, almost all the fan fictions on the GONE archive (I say almost all because I haven't read all the GONE fan fictions) are pretty good.**

**Usually the Mary-Sues are in those Bakugan fan fictions (where they pair themselves up with their 'beloved Shunny-poos') and possibly Naruto (I shall not specify who, but this author also wrote for Death Note, and one Twilight, and oh goodness, they were all terrible).**

**I have yet to see a Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu in the GONE archive, though. Hopefully, I never will.**

**I'll probably be doing a sequel, about the Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus (although Gary-Stus are more rare as compared to Mary-Sues), probably for Bakugan, or Naruto, since that's where I saw some of the Mary-Sue stories.**

**Anyway, regarding this fan fiction, I'm specifically talking about Yaoi, when, for example they pair someone like Harry and Draco from Harry Potter together, which is ridiculous since they're both heterosexual, and married to Ginny and Astoria respectively.**

**Also, I'm not trying to bash homosexuality in the least. I'm talking about fan fictions, with the yaoi and yuri and all that. Thank you, Exact Estimate, for clarifying this. =)**

**Written Twilight  
~Julia**


End file.
